still curious about where all this breast cancer is coming from.
this is a short list of chemicals, etc. that research has shown to be associated with a higher breast cancer risk. while each of these chemicals/products in itself may not actually pose a high risk consider the fact that most women are exposed to many of these or other risks daily and often through out their day without even knowing it.

organochlorines

pesticides used on dairy and beef cattle. chlorine, bleach, pvc, products that have been chemically whitened, toilet paper, tampons, paper, coffee, many others.

methylene chloride
used to decaffinate coffee
degreasers, paint removers
processing of hops & spices
fumigent pesticide on grains & strawberries

bha & bht
preservatives found in many foods

parabens
preservatives found in shampoos, commercial moisturizers, shaving gels, cleansing gels, personal lubricants, and topical pharmaceuticals.

phenylenediamines
cosmetics, hair dyes

saccharin
sweet n low
diet coke, diet soda

coal tar
dandruff shampoos

mary kay products
ingredients not made available to public
opposed the public right to know about carcinogens in cosmetics bill

bpa or bisphenol-A
used in the manufacturing of hard plastics
food containers, 5 gal water jugs, cd, dvd plastic cases

melegestrol acetate, progesterone, testosterone, trenbolone, zeranol
used in cattle to speed growth. banned in the european union

oestreriol
hormone replacement therapy

pesticides
antibiotics
alcohol

there are many many more chemicals linked to breast cancer and other cancers that have been taken off the market but their toxins are still lingering in those who were exposed to them and in our environment.

many people laugh at the thought of organic farming or shopping at health food stores.
they trust the fda and epa.
i think we have reached a saturation limit and it might be time to make a change.

this is the look i get when i say "do you want to go to the beach."

the shutters are off.
the storm has passed. just a lot of wind and alo of rain.
all our prep work was a good practice run for whoever is next in line.
i'm still interested in the bizarre connections between the komen foundation and its sponsors, the pharmaceutical moguls and the industrial chemical companies.
in a nutshell it appears that the money being raised which is earmarked for early detection and treatment is going right back into the hands of those who sponsor this foundation.
it appears that the chemical companies who are producing the known carcinogenic pesticides and organochlorides that are used in our crops and in the manufacturing of much of the daily products we purchase, use and consume have been among the many sponsors for the last 2 decades.
i assume that the chemical companies are eager to contribute to kormen for early detection and treatment as long as there is no one who has the guts to point the finger back at them.
big business is powerful and our government has turned their head allowing this kind of contamination to ruin the health of millions. the do gooders like the kormen foundation and the american cancer society are only there to smooth things over. they're not looking to correct the problem, find the source, find the causes. that would be stepping on too many big toes.

from the women's cancer research center:
breast cancer awareness month (bcam) will be here soon. for those who don't know, bcam is a very slick public relations campaign designed by zeneca's once-parent company, imperial chemical industries. zeneca, now an independent chemical/pharmaceutical corporation, has been joined by many other companies who have discovered that aligning themselves with the breast cancer movement is good for their public image and thus, their profit margins. zeneca maintains control and final veto power over the financing and publicity of bcam and its message: raise more money for research and get a mammogram. It's a smooth move for an outfit like zeneca. these folks are the fourth largest producer of pesticides in the u.s.., the manufacturer of the most widely prescribed drug for breast cancer (tamoxifen, also listed under proposition 65 as a carcinogen), and now sole owner of salick, Inc., a management company which runs a chain of cancer care centers. With bcam it's got breast cancer all wrapped up in the pretty little pink ribbon. and it gets thousands of well-meaning women to wear that pink ribbon, converting those women into tools for the cheapest public-relations masquerade ever designed.
the principal purpose of bcam is to divert attention from the causes of the cancer epidemic (like pesticides produced by zeneca and ionizing radiation from hanford's government-owned nuclear reactors) and focus instead on that which is profitable for the industry (e.g., drugs and mammograms). since this ploy has been highly successful, other industries and organizations have followed suit and joined in the chorus of denial. after all, you've got to protect your investments.

i'm enclosed in my tomb but i can hear the pounding rain and wind. i guess it will stay like this for most of the day.

i keep getting these breast cancer awareness emails. i wonder why this type of cancer is so widespread. why doesn't the average person question this. why do these women keep showing up with pink balloons wearing pink tshirts. where are they going with all of this. do they want us all to just keep checking ourselves and keep getting more and more mammograms? doesn't anyone wonder why this disease is so prominent? why did such an alarming increase so mysteriously occur?
i question the fact that the breast cancer awareness campaign was the brain child of a company called zeneca. zeneca is a major pharmaceutical company and of course they are pushing their big profit maker ($500 million yearly) breast cancer drug tamoxifen which has recently been found to actually cause other types of cancer. pharmaceutical giant, zeneca, was a spin-off company of ici,imperial chemical industries, the maker of pesticides, plastics, pharmaceuticals and paper who was was sued in 1990 by state and federal agencies for dumping ddt and pcbs in california harbors. in 1999, zeneca merged with the swedish pharmaceutical company astra to become the world's third-largest drug concern. astrazeneca continues to be the primary sponsor of breast cancer awareness month.
zeneca also manufactured the defoliant, agent orange, and now a toxic chemical cousin known as paraquat, a known carcinogen and mutangen. paraquat is widely used on fruit and vegetable crops such as coffee, cocoa, coconut, oil palms, bananas, vines, olives and tea, pineapples, sugar cane and soya beans as a weed control in the u.s. nice..
there are known enviromental toxins, pesticides, herbicides and other toxic chemicals commonly found in conventional grown foods and commonly used products that are known carcinogens, are known to cause cancer and especially breast cancer. there is no national campaign about that.
prolonged use of meat and dairy products contaminated with carcinogenic and estrogenic industrial chemicals which come from conventionally raised animals are serious suspects in this alarming widespread cancer increase.
there is no national campaign about that either.
what is really strange and very wrong is that zeneca is also a major producer of pesticides, herbicides and petrochemicals manufactured under their subsidiary company name syngenta. they are also producers of genetically modified seed. something is very wrong with this picture. all the conventionally grown foods we eat day in and day out are full of this toxic crap.
so every october millions of women with pink ribbons support this national campaign started by this toxic chemical producing zeneca with their time and hard earned cash. no one talks about toxic foods, toxic environmental issues, just more cancer causing mammograms, just wearing pink and raising money for breast cancer awareness. where does all that money go? research and screening they say. research and screening. with all this money for research i would think that it would be a no brainer to come to the conclusion that this alarming outbreak is most likely due to our toxic lifestyle and our toxic foods but no one at the koman foundation seems to be looking for the cause, just the elusive cure.
the "marketing" of breast cancer mentions nothing about prevention. no talk about chemically contaminated water or industrial carcinogens. the media fawns over this "walk for the cure" or elusive search for the cure yet no one mentions that this foundation has blocked the patient's bill of rights since 1982. no one mentions that this foundation was originated by a manufacturer of toxic chemicals. in 1998 the komen foundation was the only national group to endorse the cancer treating(?) drug tamoxifin. how appropriate. it seems that there is an environmental conflict of interest here. this foundation really just represents a systemic corruption of business. business as usual... astra-zeneca is one of their biggest sponsors... business as usual.
interestingly enough, nancy brinker, founder of the kormen foundation is a successful investor who has contributed big bucks to the bush campaign. she has some very interesting connections. there are connections to the national chain of profitable cancer treatment centers, connections to the profitable cancer treatment pharmaceuticals and the highly profitable sales of mammagram machines to name a few.

i think it's time for women to turn in those pink ribbons, wise up and protest the widespread use of cancer causing chemicals in our foods and our environment. protest by putting good organic food in your mouth and the mouths of your daughters. don't trust the fda to protect your health or the safety of your food. don't waste time with the hidden agendas of this absurdity and put your time and money where it makes a difference. we should start a national campaign: "walk for food that doesn't cause cancer". walk to expose these mega companies, like zeneca, that are poisoning our environment and giving our daughters breast cancer. it's sad to think that next month hundreds of thousands of women wearing pink ribbons will be walking blindly around the country promoting this "awareness" campaign without a clue stuffing themselves with foods that have been poisoned by companies like zeneca and approved by the almighty fda and epa.
i wonder if this susan g. komen foundation would be willing to put all this money into bio monitoring research and environmental research to look for the "cause" instead of the "cure".
how about a national walk to boycott the 8 biggest pesticide companies in the world.
dow
du pont
monsanto
imperial chemical industries
novartis
rhone poulenc
bayer
hoechst
they are all engineering food seeds so that our food supply in the fields will accept much higher doses of their herbicides without curling up and dying. this will drench both the soil and our bodies with corporate toxic chemicals and improve their profit statements.
of course, these mega-companies are up to their eyeballs in poisons. poisons are their life.
the worldwide revolution in organic growing of food is a tremendous alternative to pesticide mongers, but not without a powerful, loud and ongoing boycott. http://www.ghchealth.com/revolt-against-the-empire.html
i doubt it. that would be a conflict of interest. zeneca controls the message that women are hearing. and, given the company's role in the manufacturer of carcinogens, is it any wonder that, as far as we can tell during october, nothing causes breast cancer?

the hurricane shutters were put up today by the landlord, brian. i think he is overreacting a bit but whatever. i asked him to leave a couple of panels off and we'll put them up before we go to bed tonight. i don't like these things. it feels like you're in a tomb. i'm not really sure which weather report he is watching but we really don't need these. we might get 50-60 kt. winds but i doubt it.
for the last 2 days at work i have been working feverishly making sure everyone has their boat ready for the storm. even in a tropical storm the boats need to be secure. it was like pulling teeth to get some of the people to even come out to do anything. my boss and i had to take care of several boats that needed extra lines. all in all it was a good practice run for when we actually get the big one. ernesto should arrive here sometime tomorrow morning.
we'll see what tomorrow brings.

monday 5am.
oh, this doesn't look good.

current track may bring it right over us although the intensity is difficult to predict. maybe a cat 2.
the keys will be probably be evacuated today.
i guess it should be here around this time wednesday morning.
my landlord will probably want to put up the hurricane panels tomorrow which cover up all the windows and the sliding glass door. it make me feel like i'm in a sealed tomb. uggg... one disadvantage of living right on the waterway.
we'll see what happens today. we need to go out to our boat and take all the canvas off and check everything one more time. tomorrow i'll probably have to start bringing everything it off the deck. i'll get gas for the generator, bags of ice for the coolers, fill up some jugs of water, deflate the dinghy & put in shed and go to work and help all those people who live on their boats to get ready.
then sit tight and hope ernesto dies out before it gets here.
last year south fl was without power for weeks and there was no gas. it was a mess.

"atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed"

holy smokes
there's a submarine in my anchorage.
it was like something out of waterworld.
i went out to say hello but they took off through the bridge opening.
www.ussdeepquest.kk5.org



tomorrow i will go into work early to help prepare for ernesto just in case he decides to veer off to the east. i'll also have to make some calls to warn everyone to get ready to activate their hurricane plan. i guess i should get a few extra supplies and some gas for the generator we have at the apt. might as well keep some stuff on hand.

last night john and i strolled the streets of stuart. the annual street party brings out the entire community which is really nice.


i think there were 5 live bands playing. i liked the latin music the best. lots of horns.
the city closes the streets until 2am for the party.
we ate at the key lime cafe. fish taco and fresh squeezed lemonade.
the river walk and the bridge are beautiful at night.
it's a great way to get people together. just strolling, listening to music, dancing in the streets.

cutest chihuahua contest


i vote for moses johnson, aka, cupcakeface.

i got finally got my sufjan tickets today
pit section eee 33 & 34. 5th row from the stage.
this guy is gifted
can't wait to get on that plane to atlanta.
laura i want to go to the new aquarium and then you can make me your best vegan dinner. i really don't mind if you want to cuddle in the middle of the night. mark probably won't mind. i will crochet you a hat.
i love youtube.

these... are... days to remember.


i stole these pictures from josh's blog only because i can't get over the fact that he's in this great place, great school and it's so perfect for him.



his room is already painted just the way he likes it.

2 years ago he was in paris studying and backpacking around europe.
it's amazing actually to think of all the places he's been and the people he's met. it's crazy expecially when you think of all the people who barely ever leave their hometown except to go on a short vacation to some tourist attraction or overcrowded beach resort.
i have to go out to visit him soon. maybe we will go when laura has winter break. we were thinking of sailing to the bahamas during josh and laura's winter break but i now think we might have to wait until spring break to sail. the boat needs new standing rigging to go offshore. we can fly to austin for a visit then fly to nj for christmas maybe. i don't know just yet.
john's parents will be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary next month. i'm supposed to send pictures and some notes/thoughts/ or whatever for the scrapbook beth is making for them. i always have trouble with these projects. i get so distracted, pulling out pictures, looking through the hundreds of pictures i have on my laptop and finally i just have to get up and leave the room. i'll try to focus better this time.
i would like to write a long letter about how greatful and thankful i am to be a part of such a close knit, non judgemental, always forgiving, always there to help, insanely thoughful, open minded, totally unselfish, spontaneous family. john's parents are absolutely the most genuine, most honest, most kind, most honorable and loving people i have ever met. when i look around at how other people interact with their families i realize just how lucky i am. (sometimes i can be very sentimentally corny)
i grew up actually without a normal family life. i had no father at all and no mother after the age of 11? i had a stepfather off and on but the whole thing was quite dysfunctional as they say. i remember very little of my chldhood except that we were always poor, moved alot and there seemed to be alot of fighting and drinking going on. i don't even remember my mother or how she looked or how her voice sounded. i don't think i ever did any normal happy family things like camping vacations, big family get togethers at christmas, etc. i remember spending alot of time by myself with my dog and a cat that showed up. i liked to read alot and climb trees. after my mother died i was handed back and forth between my aunt and my older sister. i was lucky to have them at least to take care of me but i never actually felt like i belonged anywhere. as a teenager i really just existed in some sort of quiet desperation and i didn't know what to do or who to talk to. what few people i had in this family didn't seem to get along very well or so it seemed. alot of negativity, alot of negative comments made about the other. alot of negative comments made about me when no one knew i was listening. either way it did not make me feel very good at all. i have a few good memories though mostly of the summers i got to spend with my sister. high school was absolutely the most horrible years of my life. i hated coming home from school. i did not feel welcome at all but my aunt's home was the only home or place to sleep i had. even though i am still grateful for actually having somewhere to live. several times i thought about leaving, packing a bag and hitch hiking somewhere else. i felt like i was living in crazy world. again there was alot of screaming and drinking. i later realized all that drinking, yelling, mental instability type stuff seemed to run in the family. as it seems alot of people exist in angry, disconnected, dyfunctional, stressed out families and often medicate themselves with prescription drugs and alcohol. i've been on my own since i was 18, well not really alone (smile) but on my own just the same. i learned some very good survival techniques along the way like don't expect other people to help you when you're in trouble. you have to take care of yourself. at one point when i was 22 i broke down and called my family to tell them that my life was falling apart. basically they said "well, i could have told you that would happen". click.
that was a defining moment for me. from then on i realized that i really had no lifeline and no matter what happened i would be alone with my troubles or worries. there would be no one to say "i'll be right there". actually that might have kept me out of trouble since no matter what happened no one would drop whatever, get on a plane and come to my rescue. to this day i have never asked for anyone's help, i don't discuss my worries or fears with anyone. if i get myself in a hole i have to dig my ownself out. i don't feel comfortable bothering anyone with my personal problems. i keep them to myself. i have always envied people who have had someone truely concerned about them willing to jump on the next plane to come to their aid.
now i think i might be overcompensating for those memories because i keep my own children up on some kind of grand pedestal never wanting them to suffer or feel desperate like i did. i am also constantly telling them to treat each other like dear dear friends, love each other with all their heart and stay very close. don't ever ever let that family bond break like mine did. love your family unconditionally and without judgements and selfishness.
well.. i survived with only a few scars that have healed nicely despite the fact that it was not a good way for a child to have to grow up.
life is good now and all that is in the past. i have no time to think about all the angry words, the lies that were told or how this broken up family of mine was constantly turning on each other for one reason or another. i have forgiven all that and most of all i have forgiven myself. i don't care to be around people anymore who anger easily, fly off the handle at the drop of a hat or people who are fakely trying to make themselves be nice to you when you know they don't mean it at all.
john's parents have been such a excellent example to me and my children of how you should live your life with honor, dignity and compassion and without negative, unkind behavior towards others. through the years they have stuck by me like glue even and especially during the low points in my life.
i don't think i have ever heard them utter an unkind work about anyone or anything. i don't think i've ever met 2 people so full of life and so happy. they have been right by my side with open arms since the day i met them 31 years ago. they have set a wonderful example for us all and they are always a joy to be with.
we have grown up and grown old with them.
sometimes i think they might have come from a different planet.
maybe my mother had the angels send them to me to make up for her having to leave so early. i like to think so anyway.

the new boat letters that we ordered arrived today. dark green to match the trim. we wanted to get bronze ones but they were way too expensive. these might start to look bronzy after a while. they're not really shiny. that's just the glare from the plastic packaging.

the letters aren't really on the boat yet. john just digitized (or something) them on the boat so we could see how they would look. i'm not sure how he did it really. i have to finish refinishing the teak before we can fasten them on. i'm waiting til the weather cools down. i want to refinish all the teak and there's alot of it. i need to get a little sander, one that's no so heavy as the one we have. i hate sanding but i love the way the teak looks when it's refinished. i am using cetol, a translucent stain sealer instead of varnish. the varnish looks too fake and plasticy. i like the look of cetol better. it looks more natural. i still haven't really figured out how to apply it the way the professionals do. i ask alot of people, everyone tells me something different so i am just going to do the best i can and learn from my mistakes.

i was driving around looking at out of the way places along the river.




i noticed a for sale sign on the road that runs south along the river.

this little run down handyman special looked to be something out of the 50's. no one has lived there for a long time.

i guessed that it probably belonged to an elderly couple who died and now the kids have it up for sale. it needs alot of work. there are junk piles and weeds everywhere and the siding and roof are falling off. but... it had a nice dock.

i thought it might be a nice investment property, somethink i could fix up and resell in a year or so. good tax write off too.
i checked the realtor website for the listing and found it.
they are asking
$989,000 for this 2 bedroom falling apart shack.
at that rate my mortgage payments would be about $9000.00 a month.
who the hell can afford that and who would actually pay that much for a house that really needs to be torn down.
the ad says it would make a good rental property. who's going to pay that much rent on a shack?
i should just offer them $75,000. and see what they say. someone is paying the $12,000 a year taxes on the place and they must be getting tired of it.

then i tripped on the camera and took a picture of my leg.

i thought i went to iraq to protect my mother and my sister but all i did was kill someone else's mother and sister.

good morning

a spectacular "oh my god" sight.
i rushed out on the deck to see this before it disappeared. others were out on their docks in awe. it looked like it had part of a rainbow in it.

the sunset was actually on the west but it cast these beautiful colors over to the east side. this was better than the fourth of july.

it was insanely gorgeous and then it was gone.

we talked about the community event today. no one knows what to call it yet. something catchy, greenfest maybe.
these are important in order be a caring productive human being.

1. choose to have only one way of being: living intentionally, deliberately, purposefully and be consistent to that no matter what hat you are wearing be endeavor towards your larger vision.
2. reach inside when you hit obstacles. instead of looking outside yourself by playing a subtle blame game, go deeply within instead. uncover how you could make a different decision and then take focused, purposeful action accordingly.
3. reach out to others, sharing your discoveries and thoughts with those inside your circle of influence and those outside your circle of influence. world transformation begins with communicating our beliefs into being.
4. integrate your truth down to the cellular level. in acting from this level of belief, your transformation will be able to become visible to others. the sense of empowerment will then spread from you to others whose lives with whom you are in contact.
5. facilitate growth of those around you through mentoring, coaching, teaching, and creating purposeful relationships. Even a "one minute relationship" may have life changing results! be aware of possibilities in each conversation with each person you meet everyday.
6. communicate with the power of a laser and the expansiveness of prosperous words. make each word count. practice this skill joyfully. eliminate words of fear, scarcity and lack replacing them with words of love, abundance and prosperity.
7. meet each person you encounter exactly where they are with love and compassion. look into their eyes when you talk with them and really REALLY hear their words. challenge them to no longer accept the status quo.
8. effectively use your unique gifts rather than living according to someone else's expectations for you. embrace your gifts as yours. trying to express someone else's specialness creates counterfeit personal currency. your gifts are riches like gold and silver.
9. take passionate action every day. do not miss a single day. as you are moving seriously towards world transformation, do not settle for manic action. demand of yourself intentional, love filled, laser focused action. the results will speak volumes.
10. laugh, cry, love, nurture, applaud with passion! be alive in all things, whether it be in quiet contemplation of raucous celebration. spread that aliveness.

toby was so glad to get out of the house this morning.
she had been cooped up in the house all weekend. i had to work both days, 12 hrs a day.

we both went for a swim after i got back from the y.
john should be home tomorrow. he's been in tennessee for a week assisting in a new helicopter sale.
josh has made it to austin finally. he left last week, stopping along the way, tampa to visit a friend, camping out along the panhandle at walmart parking lots, looking for bio-diesel gas stations and free wifi, hanging out at the beaches and local cafes, talking to homeless people and various travelers, passing through biloxi which was still a mess from katrina, staying in a hippyish hostel in new orleans for a couple of days and rode his bike around town, stopping down in the bayou for an annual shrimp fai do do and then through houston to austin. i'm sure he's glad to be at his destination, start school, meet new people and move into his new co op home. new york is far away now.
laura starts her last year at georgia state this week. after she graduates she plans to move to auburn to live with mark while he finishes pharmacy school. they both plan on getting jobs at the new hospital there. mark is talking about buying a condo maybe while they live in auburn. he has 4 more years of grad school. i think that sounds like a good plan. they've been together for 3 years. it's a good thing.
today i need to pay bills, go to the vitamin shoppe and replenish my food supply. there's a nice little place up the street called florida organic. they actually have a web site and if you place an order they will deliver for free. i like to pick out my own stuff but it's a still a nice service. i really should clean the apt but i probably won't. i get distracted very easily. the other day i started to clean and all i did was look at a old photo album and reorganize my cd's. i met someone who owns a vegan restaurant and is organizing a community event, an outdoor festival of sustainable living to be held in the downtown park in stuart in november. i have to stop by and talk to them today about what i can do to help. i have some ideas rolling around in my head about it that i want to share. it could be a really good thing for this area. as josh says "think globally, act locally".

what do you think is the most important thing you do everyday?

crazy gnarls barkley.

good to listen to when you're getting ready to go to work at 6 am.
ha ha ha bless your soul.

this button would be a good thing to wear to the airport. i think i'll get one for john to wear when he travels for his company.

the employees of a chocolate factory in california stumbled upon some chocolate drippings that looked remarkedly like the blessed virgin mary. the employees have been visiting the chocolate mary, saying prayers and leaving rose petals next to it. i really don't see the resemblance unless the virgin mary looked like a small hawk.

do you want lies with that?

funny how the circle turns around
first you're up and then you're down again
though the circle takes what it may give
each time around it makes it live again
funny how the circle is a wheel
and you can steal someone who is a friend
funny how the circle takes you flying
and if it's right it brings you back again
funny how the circle turns around
you think you're lost and then you're found again

though you always look for what you know
each time around is something new again.

lately for some reason everytime i look at children they remind me
of little angels.
angels sent to this earth to remind us to be kind and to be thankful. also to take better care of our earth.
tobysue is not a little child but she is like a child to me sometimes. sometimes she is also like a little angel. i imagine sometimes that she knows alot more than i realize especially when she quietly stares at me the way she does. she is totally innocent and full of love and happiness. last night i was feeling sort of sad thinking about how she is growing old. she has brought alot of joy to me and everyone who meets her. animals are really very special and it upsets me to think about other types of animals who are used and abused in the name of commerce and profit. tobysue has a vet appointment for a checkup.
when we first got tobysue i decided to try and raise her in a more holistic way. i read about as much as anyone could about holistic animal health. i talked to boston terrier experts about feeding and routine vet care. the advice i was given was to feed her well and avoid unnecessary vaccinations. most of the breeders who raise their dogs holistically feed their dogs either "barf" (bones and raw food), home cooked diets or a select few of some of the holistically prepared kibble. the barf and home cooking is probably the best but requires much dedication and careful buying and planning. the meat has to be chosen carefully from only the freshest sources preferably organic. if i had it to do all over again i would probably go with the barf although at this point in my life it would be very difficult as once i move onto my boat i will have no way to properly and safely store fresh meat. so... i choose to research these recommended kibbles. i subscribed to the whole dog journal and talked to more people. one wonderful woman who breeds champion bostons and shows in the nationals, has 14 bostons and feeds them all barf and home cooking. she told me about the kibble, canidae, which she feeds when she is on the road or when she can't get fresh enough meat. she taught me alot about holistic dog health care and food. i learned how to read labels and understand exactly what each ingredient meant. for the most part commercial dog chows are really nothing but nasty crap, unfit for human consumption, but i learned that there are a few that are actually good and healthy. just a few and not the ones that are advertised on tv or sold in stores, even petsmart. after narrowing them all down i came up with 2-3 chows that are considered the best and have been rated the best according to the whole dog journal for many years. they have extremely high standards and rate dog chows annually. i have been feeding toby "canidae" for several many years now. it is hard to find even in health food stores or whole foods. i should think they would carry it but they told me it was too expensive to carry and it has a short shelf life. so i have to order it online from the dealer now. they send it via fedex. i do feel the ingredients are superior to anything else out there and it tastes really good. yes, it contains dehydrated meat and bone instead of fresh. i also feed tobysue raw organic fruits and veggies, nuts and seeds which she loves. http://www.canidae.com/ingredients/thefinest.html i don't think you should feed your dog anything that you wouldn't eat yourself.
even though this chow is what i consider to be holistic and healthy unlike all the rest of the crap, purina, eukanube, iams, etc. a better choice would be home cooking with fresh organic or barf with organic fresh meat. there is also a company that will ship frozen organic meat but i have no place to keep it frozen. i have very little refrigerator space and even less on the boat.
this post is dedicated to my dear angels, laura and little moe and all my animal loving friends.
educate yourself
grocery store foods and those sold at vets are unhealthy. read the labels.
annual booster shots are unnecessary and dangerous. stay far away from steriods. vets hand them out like candy for everything. never ask a vet about feeding. they have no clue. if your dog is scratching himself to death and his fur is falling out a vet will prescribe dangerous steriods instead of asking you what you feed your dog. if your dog is vomiting and has diarrhea the vet will give you drugs instead of asking you what you are feeding your dog.
that is what they learned in vet school.
allergies, immune system disorders, bad breath, cancers.... can all be avoided by feeding a holistic diet.

"there's something happening here
what it is ain't exactly clear"

monsanto

multinational agricultural biotechnology corporation.

major producer of dioxins (herbicides such as agent orange), aspartame (artificial sweeteners, we love our diet coke), bovine growth hormones and pcb's.

is now the world's leading genetically modified seed producer and holds 70%-100% market share for various crops such as corn, soybeans, canola, cotton and wheat. monsanto was granted a patent for it's gmo's (genetically modified organisms) from our government which seems strange and creepy that a patent can be held for a living organism. practically every packaged and processed food item in our grocery stores comes from a monsanto seed.

monsanto is also the leading producer of the herbicide/pesticide, glyphosphate, commonly known as "roundup". the components of roundup are controversial and while our fda and usda seem to think it is "safe" to use on our food crops there is much question as to it's safety. endocrine disrupters (in vitro), cancer, immune suppressant in relation to serious allergy. strangely (or not so strangely) enough, not enough government studies have been done as to date. ? our beloved fda and usda, who are "supposed" to hold the responsibility of protecting our food supply seem to be absent, totally ignoring our right to know what is in our foods. we have a right to know and should demand labeling on gm foods that have been saturated with toxins. http://www.sciencedaily.com/upi/index.php?feed=Science&article=UPI-1-20060609-13074600-bc-eat2live-fdasuit.xml

monsanto has brilliantly genetically modified their patented seed to be resistant to it's herbicide, round-up, making it resistant to the effects of being saturated with the herbicide therefore the crops can be heavily sprayed for weed control. farmers who use monsanto seed can use 2- 5 times more toxic herbicide to control super weeds.

monsanto's patent allows this corporate terrorist a tight rein on how it's seeds are used, purposely or accidently. thousands of farmers across the country are being sued by monsanto for "allowing" cross pollination as their fields have been contaminated with monsantan's seeds. the farmer's who choose to buy this seed are being subsidised by the government. that's interesting. the government is allowing this corporate extortion of our american farmers. in addition, the gmo seed produced by the plant is sterile (smart monsanto) therefore forcing the farmer to buy new seed every year. this is what they call terminator technology. farmers normally save seed for future crop. if other non monsanto farmer's crops are contamined by monsanto seed, the farmers are in deep shit. monsanto has spies out there checking for "stolen" seed. farmers are being sued.

european countries and japan are now refusing to buy from monsanto. others countries are now joining the monsanto ban. the u.s. is not. it is "suspected" that this is due to monsanto's washington links. http://www.ratical.org/co-globalize/monsantoLs.html

"no food shall be grown that we don't own"

a fitting motto

it is estimated that over 70% of the foods that line our grocery store shelves come from monsanto's genetically modified seeds. these foods and products have been silently filling the grocery store shelves over the years and the public has no clue. our goverment does not require that these foods be labeled as such.

in addition, the giant meat and poultry industry buys monsanto corn and soybean for animal feed.

one way to avoid these potential harmful foods and protest this monsantan madness is to buy organic.

greenpeace has compiled a pretty decent list of food items to avoid.

http://www.truefoodnow.org/shoppersguide/

one more reason, actually a major reason, why buying organic is so very important to us and our future.

if meat and dairy product are still on anyone list of foods they buy regularly despite the fact that they are the major cause of heart disease and cancer then a better option would be to choose only products and meat from organically and humanely raised animals. actually anyone with a conscience is already doing that.

we need to seriously question why so many people, the young, the unborn, the average american, are being devastated with cancer (breast), lymphomas, auto immune disorders, severe allegies, neurological disorders, etc. unexplainable and often deadly. it is highly recommended that pregant women and infants avoid genetically modified foods but the government refuses to label these foods it and the general public is unaware of the dangers.

yes, organic is more expensive but it is safer, healthier and tastes better. the u.s. people spend less on food supply than any other country. that is due to the fact that we are eating mass produced genetically engineered crap that is cheaper to produce. who cares if it's bad for you or devastating to the environment or is allowing a mega corporation to monopolize everything we buy to eat without proper and necessary labeling. why spend extra money on better food if we can use that money to buy home entertainment systems, the latest fashions and cute cell phones. we can always use the extra money to buy fuel for our gas guzzling vehicles so we can get to the mall.

monsanto is now in the process of applying for a patent for it's new genetically engineered pig. http://www.organicconsumers.org/patent/pigs080305.cfm

bacon is big business. gotta love that ham and those pork chops, yummy and so good for you.

google "monsanto" for more info.

http://www.centerforfoodsafety.org/

http://www.greenpeace.org/international/news/monsanto-pays-fine-for-bribery

http://www.mindfully.org/Pesticide/Monsanto-Roundup-Glyphosate.htm

http://www.biosafety-info.net/article.php?aid=267

share the knowledge.

le tub

we went down to miami today to pick up a part for my dinghy and on the way back we stopped in "le tub" a ratty little seafood /burger shack along a1a. it was started out as a sunoco gas station in 1959 but was eventually closed by the energy crisis in the early '70s. in 1974, the place was purchased by a man who spent an entire year personally transforming the place into this crazy little waterfront restaurant, made out of flotsam, jetsam, and ocean treasures gathered over 4 years of jogging on the local beach.
i wasn't really going to have anything to eat but decided to have the fish salad which was a whole lot of fresh salmon and crabmeat on greens. it was gooood.

dinner at the knowledge tree, a progressive educational center in town, was a delight. a 4 course meal, all organic, raw, vegan. it was one of the best meals i've had in a long time. it's getting more and more difficult for me to go out to eat at conventional restaurants. once you begin to understand exactly what it is that is being sold to you, where it comes from, who is growing it and why they are growing it, it starts to become apparent that blindly shoving all this stuff into our mouths because it tastes good makes about the same sense as jumping into a pool filled with toxic chemicals everyday because it feels refreshing.

the question shouldn't be "why is organic food so expensive"
but "why is conventional food so cheap"

to be continued....

new used bike
bought from my neighbor for $30.
the new bike lock cost more than this nice bike which will be josh's transportation to and from classes at ut.

house of commons
josh's new home for the next 3 years.
an eclectic and diverse house culture with a reputation for being a little different.
(how appropriate is that)
a 21 bedroom home for students and non students as well. undergraduate students to international/graduate students to working professionals.


meals are vegan, food is organic. no processed refined food. meat is not allowed in the house. (i love this place already)
"house love" everyone has 5 hours of household duties each week.
clothing is optional.
herb and vegetable garden.
salt water pool.
weekly house meetings.
members define the house.
"austin earth first" was born here in 1983.


guff: anything that is unclaimed or free for anyone to take, eat or use.

sustainable living
sustainable design
go hand in hand.
mom wants to come for a visit.

there is an art to listening.

to be really be able to listen, you should abandon or put aside all prejudices, preformations and daily activities…but unfortunately most of us listen through a screen of resistance. we are screened with prejudices, whether religious or psychological or scientific or with our daily worries, desires and fears. and with these for a screen, we listen. therefore, we really only listen to our own noise, to our own sound, not to what is being said. it is extremely difficult to put aside our training, our prejudices, our inclination, our resistance, and, reaching beyond the verbal expression, to listen so that we understand instantaneously.

there are some days when everything seems really funny or really absurd.

today i sat on the porch at work and listened to local gossip.
sunday night one of the boaters had his new girlfriend over for the evening. she brought along her 2 daughters, one is 16, one is 23. the woman proceeds to drink way too much during the evening, actually became staggering drunk and decides her daughters are a pain in the ass. she calls the cops and tells them to take the daughters off her hands. she doesn't want them following her around anymore. the officer came and told everyone that it is illegal to comsume alcohol in a public place. he pointed to the sign. the sign only said it was illegal to drink on the riverwalk. the officer was not amused.
also discussed was how many men a particular woman at the anchorage has been with lately or in the past 2 years. someone had a notebook and was writing down the men's names.
it's amusing and tacky to listen to gossip.
i keep getting these emails warning me about internet scams that i knew about 5 yrs ago. i still get spam mail everyday about how to have a larger penis. i was pulled over last night for speeding while we were coming home from the concert. the officer said i roared right past him going 63 in a 50. he asked for my license and registration. i couldn't find my registration. everyone in the car smelled like beer except for me. the cop told me i looked tired and that i should slow down. i said thank you. i remembered later that i knew him from my work where he likes to come to hang out and drink the coffee i make when he is bored. i always ask him about his day and if anything exciting has happened lately.
funny.

everything old is new again.


we met up with some friends



i had almost forgotten just how compelling this music was and really still is.
a 4 hour set of socially and politically conscious music.
they did their classics and alot of new stuff from neil young. at one point crosby strolled up to the mike and announced that over the years they had written and sung 900 songs and 500 of them were neil's.


"our house" was sweet.
"freedom of speech"
you have a voice
impeach the president
no more war
"you've got to speak out
against the madness"
teach your children well



can music still change the world, the way we think.
is it wrong to say that today's muscians, as fine as they may be, do not seem to bring such powerful and important messages to the people. to force people to wake up and do something right. josh asked me what was so different about the sixties. this is it.
the music was powerful.
it wasn't just listening. not just another pretty song. it made you stop and think about what was important. it was not self centered. it was about equality, peaceful nations and deeply caring about each and every human.
taking care of the world we live in.
the question really is "did the dream really die?"
i don't think so.
that is evident when i spend time with my children.
they and others like them will carry on this dream. they are not willing to accept mindless careers, mindless jobs, empty, self centered pointless lives. their focus to make a difference, to help improve the lives of others and to "fight the madness" is inspiring.
it's all good.



memorable to say the least.
i actually felt honored to be able to sit in the audience and listen.

oh alright answers,
i'm just guessing.
after spending the day at hobe sound national wildlife refuge beach on jupiter island,
josh & i decided to recreate the mentos and diet coke experiment as seen on mythbusters.
well.. it didn't work. there was no explosion of diet coke all over the backyard at all. i was very very disappointed. i was hoping to find at least one reason for buying a bottle of diet coke since purchasing it to actually consume is seriously a sick and dangerous idea. oh well.
this afternoon we are leaving for west palm, picking up some friends and heading down to see crosby, stills, nash and young. this is going to be good. outdoor lawn seats at the amphitheatre. gates open at 6. oh boy oh boy.

last night we discussed the ways people communicate with each other, with the people they care about, friends, family, etc.
"hi, how you doing?"
"family"s fine, jee, it's hot here".
we both agreed that the typical phone conversations just don't allow much time for our real thoughts and the back and forth phone chit chat gets to be rather superficial and empty unless you have something specific to discuss.
i started this blog because josh and laura suggested it to me. they both have blogs and now that their close friends are scattered they all communicate in this blog world, reading about each other, commenting and staying in touch in a wonderful way that they would never do via the telephone.
not only does it allow you to view the lives of those you care about, it is also a permanent journal to look back on and say "what the hell did i write that for???"
the days of actually taking the time to sit down, write a letter, include a few pictures, find a stamp and put it in the mailbox have gone, well, except for my mother (in law) who still writes me letters even thought she calls me every week anyway.
these blogs are growing and creeping into our lives in a way that allows us all to stay in close contact with each other if we choose to participate.
10-15 minutes a day, once a week, once a month, whatever..
it's open, it's free, it's cathartic.
it's a good thing... as martha would say.

this afternoon's going away party for tim and sherri was good. once again, we had nice people, good food and everyone just hung out on the porch.

we took them out in the skiff to look for the clues in the mooring field leading to their final treasure. it was kind of silly but silly is good sometimes.
we had balloons tied to the mooring ball that they had occupied for several years. they are moving their boat to the gulf coast and we will miss them.
a trail of dinghies followed behind us with friends aboard. buzz drove the boat and i took pictures.
they found their prize and on the way back it started to rain. that rain felt really good.

big big sail.
josh is back now for one more week then off to austin.
today is another party, a going away party for some friends at work.
we might take a road trip this week down south fl.to wherever.
i recently thought of something really strange. i have a few relatives but not what i would call family anymore. i have no idea what anyone on my side of the family is doing or thinking. i think that is weird and very sad. my sister called me once last year on christmas day to say merry christmas. that is all. i used to call but i really don't see any point in it anymore. i feel guilty about being this way. my neighbor, mary, has a bunch of brothers and sisters who don't talk to her either. what is wrong with people. how can people just stop talking to their own siblings, their own offspring,it's too late to make up for all those lost years now. i am so thankful to belong to, by marriage, a close knit family who talk to each other almost daily regardless of how far away they live from each other.

everyone has something good to share, a gift, some knowledge or experiences.
it might not be alot
or it could be more than most can handle.
be open
willing to accept these from others.
be open
willing to share what you can.
keep a little for yourself to explore.
be thankful for all you can give and for all you receive.
thank you

getting eleanor rigby ready for hurricane season involves alot of sweat

yesterday and the day before we took off all the sails and anything else we could take off on the deck. the sweat never stops. it's constantly dripping off my face, off the end of my nose,into my eyes, down my neck, down my arms and back, soaking my clothes. i keep thinking ok, sweating is good. it cleans out the toxins, whatever... is it ok to sweat profusely for 4 hrs straight? someone told me that the real danger is when you stop sweating so every 1/2 hr. i drink a bottle of water. i don't even care that it is not cool, it's borderline hot from sitting in the sun because i forgot to bring a cooler with ice. i don't really care. at one point i drank 2 1/2 bottles straight down without stopping. i could have drank more. someone else told me that if your pee turns dark yellow you're in trouble. it should be pale lemonade color. everytime i dehydrate i feel really bad for 2 days. achy and very tired. i don't have time to feel bad so i keep drinking water. i look really hideous from all this sweating. my eyes burn and i can't see clearly so i have to constantly squint. mostly i try to think about something else, anything at all to take my mind off all this sweating. i greatly appreciate even the slightest tiny hint of breeze. after a while i can't seem to think straight and i can't even answer a simple question. john asks me a question and all i can say is "huh?" while squinting and making some kind of hideous, ugly face. my brain is just too hot like when your laptop overheats. at this point all i can think about is jumping into the ocean.
we refastened all the lines, halyards, etc. neatly coiled around the winches and secured them with bungies around the masts so they don't get loose. we also lashed the booms down tightly. we took down the giant spinnaker pole which we'll probably never use anyway. next trip i will remove the canvas dodger and bimini and duct tape all around the hatches. the boatyard guys are supposed to come to put the hurricane straps on today. the straps will go up and over the boat and will be secured into ground with screw anchors. this will help to keep the boat from falling off the stands in high wind.
we took all the sails and misc. stuff to our storage unit. the sails needed to be refolded or "flaked" as it is done so we layed them out on the grass and refolded them. the genoa is so huge. it's got to be at least 60' or 70' long. well, our big mast is 54' tall so i guess that's about right. (our mast is a problem sometimes since there are some bridges that we cannot go under).
while driving home i thought about all this sweating and work. i realized that it's good to have a passion, a hobby of sorts, a thing you like and enjoy. it sure beats what some people do all day. stuck like glue to their computers, watching endless hours of mindless tv, or whatever people do out of boredom. i have no time to be bored anymore. so that is good.

well, anyway this blogger seems to be screwing up alot lately. weird things happen for no reason. the comment link disappears sometimes. i don't know why. i tried to read the help section but it was not really helpful. i emailed the "contact us" and received an automated answer to check the "faq" section. it seems that this blogger was started by a couple of guys in their garage one day and it just grew and grew. finally google made them an offer they couldn't refuse and blogger was sold to google. i bet those garage guys would have answered my question. i'm thinking that there probably isn't any real living humans actually running google anymore,
another interesting discovery... amazon now has a grocery store. you can purchase non perishables by the case for a pretty good price. they have a big section for organic and whole foods. it's pretty good for things you use all the time and have a hard time finding in the local stores. my whole foods market is an hour away down past west palm so this might be handy.

the people i know that seem to be the unhappiest are the ones who seem to be totally consumed with themselves. they have difficulty with relationships. they complain about everything, anything, even just in their daily small talk. i don't know how they stand themselves. they are very picky people. they always seem to have something wrong with them and spend too much time telling everyone about their ailments. blaming any bad behavior on "pms" (gag) seems to be popular. they always seem to want what they don't have.

maybe much of this comes from insecurity. i don't know why so many people are insecure. alot of young people are insecure. maybe their parents didn't give them enough love and devotion. maybe these people just don't feel right, feel good, feel energetic and happy. maybe they eat all the wrong things and their brains are misfiring. not enough serotonin maybe. biochemical balance is what makes us positive productive people. i wonder about all this. i do know one thing though. if you get out of your own little self world, spend your time doing for others who need help, trying even in the smallest ways to make a difference in someone's life, eat well, live to help the world around you, get out of stupid pointless jobs, spend more time loving instead of criticizing, stop thinking about yourself all the time, enjoy little things more, take care of your brain, learn to enjoy life sober. take time everyday to be in quiet mode to think and organize, stop obsessing and for god's sake be thankful, thankful for everything that you have, you will be a happy camper. that's all.
now, which bobblehead should i choose? they all amuse me.

hey i found my 1st message in a bottle this morning. actually it's an empty bottle of cuban rum with a cuban peso inside. the bottle looks like it's been floating for a while. it has barnacles stuck to it and the peso has some spanish scribble on it that i can't read.

cool!

chris might be a problem next week. he had better not mess with my csn concert.

our new boat plan:
yesterday john and i started removing anything on eleanor rigby that could be damaged or cause more damage from a hurricane. yaa for hurricane season. i'm taking all the cushions out and the bedding and mattress. we're removing all the sails and anything on deck that could be ripped off or cause too much windage. she will be safe now until this season passes. in november we will put her back in the water. in the meantime we will finish up the list of work we need to do. this seems to be a better plan than trying to rush through the repair work in the dead of the florida summer and trying to put her back in the water in the middle of hurricane season. i hope by next year we will have thought of a place to live on her where we can live frugally, minimally, stress free for john ( if that's possible) and start saving mucho money so john can eventually quit his job that he is tired of. we can live where i work at the anchorage but i might like to move somewhere else, i don't know yet, maybe the keys or someplace a little cleaner. laura will be out of school and on her own in may and once we move out of our apt. our expenses should be minimal. we will try to live on what i make for a while and try to put all of john's paychecks in savings. that is my plan. after that, then i will look for a place to move out of the country somewhere very south, down there past 10 degrees lat. below the hurricane line.