it's early, it's dark, it's raining and the wind is blowing... i'm listening to rainbows in the dark on the boat in the mooring field on ball #6 drinking espresso. the boat is rocking back and forth. i live on a boat in the water. this is amazing.

things are slowly coming together. i drove to work in my dinghy yesterday for the first time. that was a strange feeling.

this is a very physical life. you expend alot of energy doing everyday things. strength is a necessity especially when the weather is... well... not cooperating, the wind is blowing to beat crap and you're driving your dinghy in the drenching rain and heaving water, trying to tie the dinghy up to the boat but the wind and the rain are working against you and it's all you can do to tie up and climb up the boat ladder without losing your footing and falling in. it's exhilerating actually and makes you really feel alive. makes you feel like you could do just about anything... i look at it like a challenge and when it gets rough i smile and think "bring it on". of course everyday is not so tough or so much of a challenge. nature gives us all those wonderful peaceful calm days so we can relax and just float...........

we left the dock and went back out into the anchorage yesterday after we finished loading all our wordly belongings onboard. actually it amounted to 2 van fulls. not that much really. a bunch of stuff went to the storage unit. i hung my paintings and arranged all my most favorite things all around the cabin. it looks a bit quirky but i like it that way. there's plenty of room though for everything. i was a little worried about where everything would fit, especially my clothes and my kitchen stuff but it all fits good with space to spare. john still has various projects to finish up and i am waiting on a wifi signal booster that i ordered online since i'm not getting a strong enough signal out here on the boat for some of the things i do. i'm thinking about getting the online netflix movie thing so i need a stronger signal. we'll probably go buy a little lcd flat panel tv soon and get a little boat antenna so i can watch my shows ,"house" and "csi".

there's one thing i've relearned in the past couple of months...well.. it's good to challenge yourself to do things you never thought you could do and that sometimes it's really hard, maybe too hard, maybe too much trouble or takes too long. maybe it's something you really don't want to do, maybe whatever..... but whatever it is.. don't complain, just do it and keep on challenging yourself to do more and more. when you finally fall into bed at night you will smile and thank yourself.

reach for the sky.

it's moving day for "captain" ruth and her trusty crew. well, really there's no crew but she does have a mate, a soulmate actually.

i'm trying to smile here but actually i'm feeling really burnt out. i am proud to say that i passed the coast guard exam saturday morning which took me 4 hrs to complete. i got a 90 overall and whew...am i glad that's over with. now it's time to get moving aboard. eleanor is looking pretty darn good and very homey. i'm just liking her more and more. she's so cozy and comfortable.

we brought her up to the dock yesterday afternoon after i finished my exam and moved about half of our stuff onboard. we'll finish up moving today. i think it's supposed to rain all day today but that should be ok since luckily everything is packed in plastic bins. i can't wait to hang up all my paintings, make a nice dinner and just relax.

i think toby really like being on the boat. when we park the car she jumps out and runs down the dock waiting for us to carry her aboard. she knows better than to jump, which is good since she'd probably wind up falling in. sometimes i worry about her falling off the boat when we're not paying attention to her. i think there's some kind of little alarm you can get that attaches to their collar and is activated when it's submerged or something. i'll look into it. she's pretty good though and has no problem running from bow to stern just being nosy about what's going out in the water. she also has a little astro turf like dog potty thingy up in the bow that she can use if she wants to.

i guess for the next month or so we'll just be hanging out, figuring out where everything fits the best and working on various projects. i'd like to finally get around to re-varnishing the teak trim all along the outside and make a few other things i've got in mind. we have to inspect the standing rigging and probably replace a bunch of it and then install our solar panel and our wind generator. once those things are done we should be good to go....somewhere... maybe down to the keys for a short time. i don't know when just yet. for now we'll just be happy to relax and hang out on ball #6 and watch the dolphins tease each other.

one more day of review. i'm not feeling as bad about it as i did last week. lightbulb moment...constant studying does actually help. i've never studied this much for anything. i was never a good student, good meaning i could never force myself to pay attention or to study for some reason and i basically didn't really care whether i passed a class or not. i guess that's what is known as an "under achiever". for me, school was just simply very boring. but...that was a long time ago.

anyway...i still believe that if i pass this coast guard exam it will be by the skin of my teeth, whatever that's supposed to mean. the problem being that in order to pass i have to get 90% which doesn't give me much leeway especially since i tend to dyslex at the most inappropriate moments as if my brain thinks one way and the hand i hold my pencil in has a mind of it's own. i reverse numbers and write d instead of b. that's not very helpful at all.

2 more days left in this apt. the thought of living on a boat seems very funny to me especially when i look at the pictures of our giant oversized house in the marietta suburbs. most of the rooms in that house we never really used. i went to a party last weekend at house that was recently purchased by some new friends of mine. they have a boat too but bought this house as an investment and a place to go when they're not cruising. it's a very small house, single level florida style rancher, rather cute but it seemed really big to me and once again had so much wasted space. even the living room seemed kind of stupid with it's 4 white walls and carefully placed furniture, 2 end tables, coffee table, matching lamps, picture over the sofa..... uggg i thought to myself... i could never live like that again. i'd rather live in a tent than live like that.

as peculiar as it may sound a boat like eleanor after a while takes on a different meaning than just simply a place to sleep or a vessel to get you from one place to another. i now understand why they are called "she's". they become almost life-like, like a giant mother who protects you from harm and in return you care for them as if they were wrapping their arms around you in the night....and you really do actually fall in love with your boat. it's sounds crazy, i know.

i feel it though every time i pull up to eleanor on my dinghy and tie up. i am anxious to get settled aboard her and start taking good care of her. she's a grand old gal.

this new "superbug", mrsa, shouldn't be any surprise.

the health food advocates have been warning us about it all along.

when people continue to consume conventionally farmed animals and animal by products they are consuming the very thing that makes us non resistant to normal bacteria that is found everywhere, in the dirt, in the things we come in contact with thoughout our daily lives. heavily confined animals in factory farms are full of antibiotics which makes us basically sitting ducks.. unable to naturally live in and accept our own natural world. these same antibiotics are fed like candy to every child in america everytime they sneeze or cough which in turn literally disables their immune system.

interestingly enough, no one is pointing the finger at the meat or dairy industry...only advising the general population to "wash your hands", use extra precautions, keep everything extra clean and use that goofy purell crap constantly.

no surprise

the condo people are coming back down. you can recognize them easily..really pale and blubbery.

i really wanted to know why this guy was wearing knee pads to the beach. sometimes things are just better left alone though.

http://www.magorium.com/ mr. magorium's magical emporium looks really cool! all the toys are alive! i haven't been to the movies in a long time. giggles and smiles and popcorn..oh boy oh boy.

we all have inner dialog. sometimes i think mine is out of control most of the time and it often leaks out of my head and out of my mouth. i suppose you would call that outer dialog or in my case, simple babble. i would guess that a lot of people who live alone do this quite often. the trouble is that you get so used to it you do it in public places when it's not exactly appropriate to be carrying on a conversation with yourself.

for the past several days i've been studying for my exam, which is this coming saturday. i study every morning from about 8am to 1 or as long as i can stand it since i grow very uncomfortable sitting in one place for very long. it will all be over in a few days though. yesterday, as i studied, i realized just how vocal i've become when i'm by myself and how much i talk to myself. i yell at myself when i keep making the same errors over and over. the next door neighbor must wonder why he keeps hearing "oh my god you're so stupid" coming from my apt all the time.

i have planned this week out very carefully to make sure i have a certain amount of time alloted for studying, for packing and then to go to work. i have 3 more days of living on land and 3 more days to study. saturday my head might just explode. i keep my notepad with me at all times so i can jot down things to remember to do. i have to say though that all this hard thinking has seemed to cause my brain to function a little bit more proficiently than normal. that isn't really saying much though since normally i have a hard time remembering where i put my purse. yesterday after work i stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things, food and some things to clean the apt. as i pulled out of the parking spot and drove off i suddenly remembered that i never unloaded the cart but just left my groceries and my purse sitting there in the cart in the parking lot. nice, ruth. i had a nice talk with myself about that.

i haven't been to the beach for over a week and for me that's like not being able to take a shower. it makes me feel itchy. i might drag my books down to the beach this morning if the weather looks nice enough. i haven't been to the y either in over a week which is making me feel even more itchy.

next week, after i scrub out the apt so i can get my deposit back, i intend on taking a deep breath for a couple of days and let my poor old tired brain take a little vacation. i'll be living on the boat by then. as they say " this is the first day of the rest of your life". i am still quite amazed by it all.

another space shuttle launched this morning. this is what it looks like from about 115 miles away if anyone is interested. i could see it for all of 2 minutes and then it disappeared into the wild blue yonder.

when you see backwards abbreviations in the sky floating around over the bridge and it actually frightens you it's time to go to bed.

i have a new book called sea vegetables. the idea of identifying edible stuff in the oceans spawned one day at work while talking to a fellow named gill at the anchorage who most would say is somewhat of a naturalist. he used to teach survival type classes somewhere a while back and now seems very content just living quietly on his boat, minding his own business, helping others and working on various projects. he's always bringing me bits of plants to taste that he's found here and there growing wild, plants that just go totally unnoticed to most people or thought of as just a "weed". he's a big fan of the late euell gibbons, who wrote "stalking the wild asparagus" back in the 60's. euell was also a true naturalist and wrote about living off the land, literally.
anyway, between the sea vegetable book and a couple of others that we found used on amazon about wild edible plants, both land and sea, it's amazing how differently you begin to look at your surroundings, what you step on and "all that stuff" floating around in the water. all this free wild food, which by the way, is for the most part far superior in nutrients, i mean seriously far more superior, than the majority of stuff we grow as commercial well known crops.
the fact that you can make a very nice tea from simple pines needles just fascinates me lately for some reason or that most of the stuff we see and walk on everyday can be picked to make a very healthy raw salad.
this fascination rose again a couple of days ago at work. being that it is almost the beginning of our busy season again we are in the process of cleaning all the moorings and the balls attached which are covered with what most people would say is some pretty gross stuff. slimy and crusty with all sorts of marine what-nots. no doubt most would say it's a rather disgusting job to scrape all the crap off of our 86 mooring balls but for some reason i find it rather interesting. these balls are just covered with life... algae, barnacles, mussels, oysters and baby crabs. as i scraped them off all i could think about was what a wonderful stew they would make if, for instance, this was my normal food source and then i thought well why shouldn't it be, it's right in front of me.
i guess this interest has also been fueled by volunteering with the florida oceanographic oyster project and working with heather, who is a youngish girl, right out of college, and who is, instead of at the salon getting her nails done, is happily digging away into all sorts of slimy marine life and often commenting very cutely about the tiny little blennies and baby crabs as if they were just so adorable.
i've also found a rather interesting tv show on discovery called man vs. wild which is although a bit corny at times gives a whole new light to a walk in the woods or anywhere else for that matter. everything you see and take for granted takes on a whole new meaning.
well, this is what i've been fascinating myself with lately. it's very cool to suddenly become aware of a whole new world that is right there and often under our feet.

this video reminded me to remind my dear children that life is a grand journey. it's full of ups and downs, fall downs and turn arounds. enjoy it, never take it for granted and do your best to make a difference. you are here for a reason.

toby and boxer.

i hope the new tenant likes cats. boxer scratches and whines at my door every morning to be fed around 5:30. then he comes in and takes a nap.

wakey wakey

rise and shine.

minimalism

living below one's means

mooring ball rent

food

car insurance

boat insurance

cell phone

fuel for auto and dinghy

total is 1/4 of income.

cool.

moe sent toby a nice new raincoat... and it even glows in the dark. isn't she just too cool? i guess toby should send moe a thank you note.

i actually got a lot of packing done yesterday thanks to the fact that i had no interruptions except for my wandering mind. i had to make 2 trips to wallyworld for bins since i refuse to use cardboard boxes anymore because they just fall apart in this humidity.

i still haven't found several of the things i've lost in this apt which is strange since it's only basically 2 rooms.

all the bins are labeled but half of them just say "misc" since i can't figure out what to call the junk inside of them. 3 of the bins are marked "art supplies" and they all have to go on the boat....not sure where they'll go but they are a definite must have. i think i propably have more art supplies than i do clothes or anything else for that matter, except for books.

today i'll work on the kitchen stuff and my books and whatever else is left in the little hallway that was once a temporary bedroom for josh. i have alot of strange things back there, things i've been collecting for the boat in the last year or so.... things from thrift shops and such. no doubt i'll find some things that i forgot that i even bought.

i think that once we move onboard and i get everything nice and lovely we'll tie eleanor up to the dock for the afternoon and i'll have a boat warming party and invite everyone at the anchorage. no presents please. i'll have a guestbook where everyone can sign in and write down their very best tips on living aboard. i guess that i should get plenty of beer and rum and tie lots of balloons all around the lifelines.

they've got micro mini pigs now. i think one of these would make a good little buddy for tobysue.
this is sally.


ziggy is quite cute too. toby would just love a little piggy friend. i've never seen anyone with a pig on a boat though. that might be a problem.

i hope 10 euros is a fair price for in rainbows. i guess that's more than they would get from a sale through a middle man or two or three???

still packing.....listening to in rainbows... going on 5hrs. now. have only gotten through the bathroom and bedroom stuff. some bins of stuff go to storage to be decided upon at a later date. other bins to definitely go onboard.

taking a break from trying to pack...

this is one of my most favorite possessions..

j...laura.

sailboat pumpkin. heh
pack pack
study study

in 2 weeks i'll have a new mailing address: 615 s.w. anchorage way
stuart 34994 and........ i'll be driving my dinghy to work instead of my car. double heh.

one more day of sea school left. last night i think my brain almost exploded. i had to put a bag of frozen mixed fruit on it. this song makes my head feel better.

this is the label to look for when buying your food.

up & coming.... look for this label when buying everything else in the near future.

http://www.c2ccertified.com/

gore wins nobel peace prize!

This award will only add to the tremendous tidal wave of support for Al Gore and the growing demands that he become a candidate for President in 2008. He is in a unique position to make a difference in the world on the one issue he believes to be the most important of our times. We believe that under these circumstances he has no choice but to take the one step left to have the greatest impact in changing policy on global warming -- run for President.

http://www.draftgore.com/

If Al Gore were added to the current group of candidates seeking the Democratic nomination, who would you vote for? * * 11785 responses (in 1 hour)

Joe Biden 1.6%
Hillary Clinton 9.9%
Chris Dodd 0%
John Edwards 2.9%
Al Gore 59%
Mike Gravel 0.2%
Dennis Kucinich 0.6%
Barack Obama 4.9%
Bill Richardson 1.5%
None of the above 20%

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21264312?GT1=10450

these are my "footprints".

i found this cool old bottle washed up on the beach this morning. it has "bacelo & cia" on the side and dr rep on the bottom. apparently it's an old bottle of rum from the dom. republic.

when i was leaving the beach a school bus pulled into the parking area full of elementary kids and their teacher going a a beach field trip, all with little bags and some kind of identification charts. cute.

tuesday we harvested about 10,000 baby oysters all about the size of a quarter, took them out of their various and scattered net baskets all around the south fork and drove them over to one of the established beds where they will, hopefully, continue to grow and make themselves useful to the grand scheme of our river's ecosystem. we had another volunteer, a older gent, who at first look, seemed a bit questionable as to whether or not he would actually be of any help due to his age but he really did just fine climbing all about on the docks plus.... as old men tend to do.. kept us entertained with his stories of the days when he lived and boated on the chesapeake. i especially like him since he kept calling me a young girl. it was a beautiful breezy day and the boat didn't break down once so that made it even better. after we were finished we brought the boat back to the dock at the anchorage, unloaded the mess and the dirty cages, washed down the boat and i went home, took a shower and went to class. this time i wore long pants and brought a sweatshirt.
there's going to be a big outdoor potluck party in about 2 weeks at florida oceanographic for all the oyster gardeners with tons of clams and oysters and such donated by the local seafood market. i love clams and oysters.
school is going ok although i still don't think i can learn all this and pass the exam in such a short time. i have come to understand alot more though and i am beginning to appreciate all this knowledge if i am ever to spend any time at all wandering around the ocean in a my floating home. while i was sitting in class last night i realized that i felt sort of perhaps like a man sitting in an advanced cooking class who had never cooked before in his life, especially anything complicated and trying to absorb all these advanced techiques that really take years and years to learn.. in just one short week. maybe not a very good analogy but some of the guys in my class have obviously been boating for many many decades... and me, well i barely know how to boil water.
while i was at work yesterday i watched various people come and go from their boats and i realized that i take for granted just how much physical effort is involved in living on a boat. i've gotten used it and all the random nuisances that complicate boat life such as crappy weather and high winds and stuff breaking all the time. it really involves alot of physical stamina and willingness to put up with extreme heat and drenching rain. not that it's always that way....most of the time everything is just simply delightful, to me anyway and as with anything you have to take the bad with the good. my thought process was though...thinking about people who aren't used to or capable of doing anything extremely physical would basically be unable to deal with it all. sometimes i think the whole boat life thing is rather humorous and we often ask ourselves why we would want to live this way when we could be sitting comfortably and dry behind four walls on land with every convenience known to man staring at the big screen tv with remote in hand. instead we choose to live with very few possessions, where almost everything you do involves getting wet and you are always, always watching the weather.
i didn't include the fact that you choose to live in a tiny space because to me only the boat seems small compared to the vast freedom of space you actually have, the endless skies and constant breezes, the never ending motion and movement of the currents and tides, the sounds of all the birds and the dolphins swimming nearby, the smells of approaching storms.... it's all like some sort of intense immersion into a world that heightens all your senses and makes you acutely aware of your environment....and after all that... you sure do sleep good at night.
there's definitely a price to pay for becoming accustomed to this way of living... it's that uneasy feeling you get whenever you're cooped up inside, in stale air, with walls and ceilings that block your view, without being able to see the sky or know which way the wind is blowing and within a very short time you get this overwhelming intense urge to escape like some sort of caged bird. it's a very eery feeling sometimes.

i passed this family of bikers last night on the way to sea school. the little girl with the bunny helmet just tickled me.

last night we studied electronic navigation and marlinspike which is otherwise known as knot tying and how to care for the "rope". even though i think i saw my breath once or twice in that freezing room i successfully tied all the required bowlines, hitches and sheetbends in record time. hehe. i gave myself a little pat on the back for that since most of the others apparently hadn't done much knot tying. the instructor recorded our marlinspike test results so i guess we won't have to do that anymore. had we been tested on electronics.... now that would have been a different story since my brain does not work in that direction whatsoever.

today is another day out on the oyster project. i sure hope it doesn't rain all day like it did the last time. although......i really don't mind the rain but it doesn't make everything you do a little more wetly difficult. drip drip drip...........

today will be the 4th day in row that i haven't had the time to eat anything but a banana and a tuna sandwich. that can't be too good. bananas are good though. you can shove one in your mouth even when you're out in a boat in the pouring rain.

yesterday afternoon at work my dear boss was talking about his uncertain future and how, because of this marina redevelopment, he doesn't know where he'll be a year or two from now. seriously, everyone's future is uncertain and i don't think it helps or is in any way productive to worry about it. you just have to do the best you can, work hard..be passionate about what you believe in and enjoy each day like it was the best day of your life.... the rest will follow.

today is another birthday for me. i now qualify for a senior discount at various places such as the goodwill and the movie theater. when i was 30 i thought 55 yr. old people were "old". i still feel like i'm 30... with just a bunch more wrinkles, that's all. my life is good. actually i'd rather be around 30 yr. old people. people my age seem old for some reason. they complain too much. i've really enjoying going out with the girl from florida oceanographic lately on the oyster restoration project. she's still young enough to be vibrant, energetic and very enthusiastic about life and doesn't constantly whine about her aching back and sore knees. if i had a choice i'd stay away from anyone over 40.

the last 2 days at sea school were very difficult. no doubt because i'm not used to sitting for 9 hours a day in a freezing cold air conditioned windowless room. everytime we had a break i'd rush outside to get some non air conditioned fresh air. there are only 8 people in class, all guys of various ages and me. i'm beginning to doubt if i'll pass the exam but the instructor told us that we can take it as many times as necessary until we pass it and we only have to retake the section we failed not the entire exam. i don't know. it's really hard and there's just too much to learn in one week. plus i just don't have a very good memory any more... well i never really did.

all day saturday and most of the day sunday we learned to plot courses and do things like dead reckoning, set and drift, line of position, true and magnetic headings and determining speed, distance and time over a course using our plotting tools. this is called piloting and chart navigation. we each have our own practice chart that is the size of a queen sized bed. i'm getting the hang of it pretty good though although my eyes are not liking the tiny tiny print. i bought a chart magnifier. maybe that'll help. you have to get 90% on this part of the exam to pass. ugg.

plotting a course in navigation isn't really used anymore since most people have a gps and all sorts of electronic equiptment onboard that does all the thinking for them. even with all that it is still necessary to manually plot a course in case the electronics fail. just relying on an electronic piece of equiptment and a laptop to get you across a large body of water is not a very good idea. stuff happens all the time.

this week i'll be studying alot during the day, then going to work, then to the night classes til 10:30. i'll be glad when this week is over. it's just really hard and i'd really like to pass the exam. next weekend we go all day again saturday and sunday then we have a week off to study and the exam is the following weekend. the instructor said the exam lasts all day but 8 hrs. is all the time they give you.

so today i feel sort of brain dead, more than normally. i'm going to go over all my bizarre notes and try to make sense of what i wrote. i think i'll rewrite them and then reread the first 2 chapters about 6 times and do some more plotting on my giant chart that we were given.

i'm very tempted to just go to the beach.... i don't really want to study on my birthday but whatever. i'm here by myself, john is not home this week, once again, and it's just me and toby. i should go to the y though. i sat way too much this weekend and i need some exercise.

i'll start packing after the exam. i can't think about packing right now.

i think i'll make myself a birthday sandwich to have at work tonight before i go to class and i'll eat it in the car in the parking lot. heh heh.

there was a band playing in my head............

the creatures in my head..........

don't resemble anything i saw at the local gallery showing i went to last night after work.

when i go to these events i find myself really appreciating everything i see, even the typical landscape stuff. it's all good because someone actually did it. they sat there for hours by themselves painting something from their heart.

i'm beginning to think that i might just paint just as good as any of them because..... it's not really about skill or some innate talent, it's just creating something from nothing.... from a blank white canvas.

the place was packed with people, women mostly, very chatty women drinking wine. afterwards i headed over to jensen beach to the weekly thursday night street party/sidewalk art/craft show. it felt good to walk along the little downtown sidewalk among the local people. there was a wonderful warm breeze coming off the river. i met up with jerry who, of course, went from table to table making really absurd and bizarre comments to the artists and vendors. i also saw several people that i know who live around town. it's a gathering and it's nice. i bought some really nice coffee beans from a girl who's just started her own little coffee bean business and wandered into some of the little art galleries, one of which might take some of my paintings. every time i go to this thursday night thing i tell myself that i need to get a table there and sell something. it's kinda fun and you just sit there all night and talk to everyone. i think i might make up a bunch of artsy cards to sell. it's a cheap way to sell your art and people always like to buy cards or so it seems especially the tourists. i've got some ideas.....running through my head about it all and a very cool idea of how to display them. i'll try to get my act together although i'll have to wait til sea school is over and such things like packing and moving that are taking up my free time to do these goofy ideas.

on my way home right out of nowhere an idea came flying out of head for another painting so i had to rush in the house and make a rough draft of it before it was forgotten. it's about sea creatures... but this time they are evolving onto land..with human characteristics. well, i was so involved in thinking about this idea that i drove all the way home in the dark and never turned

my headlights on. no wonder everyone was flashing their lights at me. the rough draft turned out looking like one of those strange primitive john lennon scribblings.

this morning at 7:30 i'll be going out again with heather from florida oceanographic to do our oyster thing. we'll be out all day probably til 5 or so. the plan is to get about 15,000 baby oysters out each day, 750 per basket, then pick up the half grown ones and take them over to the established oyster beds where we'll drop them off the side of the boat. i hope the boat runs better than it did the other day. even though it's a fairly new boat, the engine is very tempermental. luckily i have my sea tow membership card. it's like aa for boats and they come get you when your boat breaks down. i'll keep the anchor out anyway just in case the engine dies in the middle of the channel which, if today is anything like monday, is very likely to happen. oh what fun.

ahoy me hearties!

tobysue is going to be a pirate for halloween.

shiver me timbers.... argggggggggg

i just got the lastest edition of smithsonian mag. the title is

37 under 36.

america's young innovators

in the arts and sciences.

all of the 37 young people are fascinating and to top it off sufjan is one of the 37.
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/10036476.html

NPR : Iron and Wine in Concert

so we only have 26 more days here at the apt til we move. i can't believe we've been here for over 2 years. i'm really gonna miss this place and especially this giant "doorstop".

my sea class that was changed to monday night was never really changed at all and it doesn't start til saturday. the people in the sea school office have no idea why someone called me to tell me it was changed and it's all very strange. somehow my name got put into a class all by itself and i was the only one in this rescheduled class that didn't even exist. ok... whatever.

i found another bag of winter clothes in the shed that have been there since we moved here. those are going to goodwill along with everything else i haven't used since we moved here. obviously i don't need them. hopefully while in the midst of all this packing i'll find all those things that i've lost recently. hopefully because i was actually quite sure that someone was coming into the apt when i was at work and taking my stuff, especially my reading glasses, various pair of sandals and a couple of my favorite shirts.

moving to the boat won't be like normal moving where you move to an unfamilar place. it will be like moving back home in a way since it's like home there and everyone knows everyone... like a big family. everybody borrows stuff from each other or pitches in to help whenever you're working on a project or need something fixed. everyone knows everyone's business too but i don't mind. my business is already fairly obvious and i don't really do anything worth talking about. plus if you get bored you can always sit out on the deck of the boat in the evenings, listen to music and feed on the new people. heh. i'm going to get myself a nice comfy lounge chair just for that.

i realize that, for the most part, i am alone... in the things i'm interested in, in the things that inspire me or fascinate me, or make me smile.

sometimes i feel like i might have gotten off the elevator at the wrong floor.

surely there must be a floor somewhere where people are happy and pleasant and aren't so self involved.. so full of negativity or anger. there must be a floor where people are wildly creating everything and nothing... laughing at themselves but all the while carefully observing and listening to each other as if it really mattered what we all say and do and how we all connect when we're in the same room together.

i seem to think a lot about what people say.. and what they don't say. i like it when you meet someone who speaks from their heart even if it doesn't make any sense. last week at work i was told by a fellow named bruce that the anchorage always seems different when i'm there. i said "how so?". he said "i can't really put it into words".

i think it's because i'm on the wrong floor.

Nico Muhly - It Goes Without Saying

http://www.inrainbows.com/Store/Quickindex2.html

the tide has been extremely high lately and to add to it the wind is making the river seem like an ocean crashing up over the sea wall and onto my deck. the long dock next door is almost submerged.

i made a huge pot of minestrone soup so john will have something for dinner this week since i go to my 1st u.s. coast guard sea school class tonight after work. it lasts until 10:30. this is way way past my bedtime hour. i guess john will be eating soup for the next 2 weeks although he's leaving again on thursday to go back down to homestead for work.

funny... yesterday a friend of his at the anchorage called to say that he found john's backpack on his boat. john forgot he left it there and all this time thought it was stolen. i think we both could use some more memory.

i have my supplies and i'm all ready to go to class tonight if i can only force myself to pay attention. i will be going heavily medicated, much to my dismay, since i have once again gotten someone's cold from work i guess and i refuse to sit for hours and hours in a classroom full of people sneezing and blowing my nose. ugg.

i have vit.c, some herbal stuff, zicam and claritin (just in case i can't stop sneezing). i will try to sit in the back of the room far away from anyone who i might gross out. this really sucks. i have enough trouble paying attention when i'm perfectly ok much less when i have droopy teary eyes, a runny nose and am choking on my own snot. heh. oh well... i can't do anything about it now.

tomorrow morning i am continuing with the oyster project during the day since i don't have to work at the anchorage on tuesday. i told heather that she has to get me back to shore early enough for me to go home and shower off the oyster stink so i can go to sea school classes.

i gave the landlord our 30 day notice to leave the apt today. there's no turning back now. next week i'll start some serious packing and moving.

we will be living on eleanor rigby by nov. 1st. yeah for us (and toby too).

women and breast cancer

a few days ago i overheard someone on tv talking about how to make your home baby-safe and they stressed the importance of locking up "all your toxic cleaning supplies"... the ones we use to clean the kitchen sink, the bathrooms and showers, etc. and there's zillions of them all geared towards those who have the household cleaning chores.

actually "toxic supplies" is a disturbing thought. it's disturbing enough to wonder why we even have and use toxic products at all. if you studied which ones caused mammary tumors in rats you'd probably be horrified. same goes for the chemicals in public drinking water, the chemicals in yard sprays and the chemicals in non organic conventionally grown food.

the silent spring institute has a website that should be read by all women. this so called "race for the cure" and all that early detection crap is just a coverup for the real root of the problem which is: chemical companies don't care if you're daughter gets breast cancer and doesn't anyone think it's peculiar that the "pink ribbon" campaign promotes cancer causing products? the biggest "pink" frauds are the dairy products, especially yoplait and dannon. for more than a decade these dairy products have been made with milk from monsanto's posilac treated cows. it's is also known as rbgh or rbst, but whatever name they choose in any discussion, it all refers to the bovine growth hormone. the hormone treatment has been banned world wide since 1994 but here in the us it has been used to treat up to half of the cows and no one is allowed to say a word about the milk being different. the treated and untreated are measured by the fda for the nutrients only and no one talks about the hormone effects.

women need to wake up and take an interest in what's in their drinking water, their food, the stuff they clean their house with and the crap they spray on their lawns.

when women complain that it costs so much more to buy a safe non toxic organic food or any other product for that matter you've got to wonder where their priorities are.

http://www.silentspring.org/