sunrise, yesterday morning...

almost fell off the boat when i saw this cloud formation. i never tire of the amazing florida skies.

almost forgot to mention that i caught a tarpon the other day.

just off the end of the dock here and it scared the crap out of me. i was just fishing... for some little fish dinner and this big crazy thing hit the line and took off like some sort of giant insane mad fish, jumping and flinging itself against the sides of the dock and the nearby boats. john was here along with a couple other guys watching in amazement. apparently there are tarpon all over the place here and real sport fishermen are always trying to catch them. i catch one and i didn't even want to. thankfully it got away.

there's a storm a brewin' out there somewhere named hanna.

i don't think it's going to amount to much but then again... you just have to wait and see. we were supposed to go out sailing this long weekend but our sailing buddies were worried about the weather and backed out saying that they needed to get their farmhouse straightened up and battened down for a possible hurricane. might as well get ready... it's gonna be a long hurricane season.

in the meantime i'll just enjoy the view and the craziness of the sea.

i love it when it gets really frothy.

still looking at houses. the last one was too strange, a bit uncomfortably strange and too much money for what it was. might go see another little one tomorrow. it's just about in downtown jensen beach... about a block or 2 from little mainstreet, which could be very cool.

let me just say... sometimes it sure is hard to make arrangements with yourself.

it's nice and calm today.. calm before another storm, i suppose. i decided just to stay on permanent hurricane status and i'm not taking any of my stuff out that i stored away from the last storm until hurricane season is over.
there was a little lizard in my purse this morning. i call all lizards "joey" for some reason.

this is the air conditioner that i bought used on craigslist. it fits in the forward hatch and toby and i really like it alot. it didn't work at first but of course john fixed it. he's so smart.

i'm going to try and see this little 1920's 2 bdrm cottage in stuart today with the realtor. it's down by the river near the anchorage. it's a pre-foreclosure and i am beginning to really dislike these pre-foreclosures. they are nothing but a pain in the butt to deal with....but it may well be worth the effort if we can actually get a good deal. these places are selling for less than half of what they sold for 3 yrs ago. we'll see.

the storm left us finally and the sky opened up with this eery and mystical evening glow hole. there was no one else around and i felt sort of privileged..as if i was the only one who saw it. too bad. well... at least i was able to capture the moment.

today's local news.... #1 reason why it's not a good idea to be buried in florida. cremation is much better. no one wants to see their mother's casket floating down the street after a tropical storm dumps 14" of rain in 24 hrs.

my friend told me yesterday that her entire neighborhood is flooded right up to the front doors and alligators and catfish have been seen swimming around in flooded out yards and streets. i was wondering how on earth can she let the dog out to potty.. can they potty while they swim??..will the alligators get them before they have a chance to poop??

at the marina here all we have is a kazillion of these giant land crabs (cardisoma guanhumi) running around all over the parking lot. one was the size of a small dog and it was trying to get into the ladies bathroom this morning. the thought of a big pot of crab bisque crossed my mind but i discovered quickly that those little guys are just too hard to catch.

it's still raining off and on today. we might try to bring the boat back from the mooring to the marina tonight and put it back in the slip if the wind stops blowing in the wrong direction. until then i am hanging out still in my temporary van-suite. yesterday i watched "the african queen" on my laptop and ate sushi from publix. it was so good i might watch it again.

nice view from van-suite.

better than cheese... cashew cheese.

Vegan Cashew Cheese
Ingredients:
2/3 cup cashews (raw is best, roasted is still great, and try flavored cashews too)
1/2 cup water (or slightly more)
1/4 cup red bell pepper (raw or roasted)
1/4 small red onion (if you're cooking for a date, or more otherwise!)
1/4 cup yeast flakes
2 garlic cloves (see "red onion")
3 tbsp lemon juice
2 tbsp Bragg's Liquid Aminos (on the health food isle everywhere, or use lite soy sauce)
1 tbsp sesame oil
1 tsp sea salt (optional) if the cashews are unsalted
Put everything in a food processor and blend it until it's creamy. If it's too thick, add more water. If it's too watery, add more cashews. It should have a Cream of Wheat-like consistency, or just a bit thicker. For a pizza, spread it thinly over pizza sauce (it's very rich, so a little bit goes a long way), top it off with your favorite vegetables, and pop it in a 450 oven for 20 min. If the cashew cheese becomes golden-brown more than a few minutes before the pizza crust is done, cover the top of the pizza with foil.

"few people would keep a hen in a shoebox for her entire egg laying life; but practically everyone will eat a "farm fresh" egg." [the economist]

ts faye passed over about as slow as molasses. lots of wind, tornadoes and downspouts reported. several anchored sailboats broke loose and either sunk or smashed up against private docks along the river. it's been raining for 4 days now. tuesday night on the boat was the worst... the wind slamming the halyards against the mast all night long, the batteries are starting to wearing out, the stuffy hot dark damp cabin, the leaks, the leaks, the leaks...it's hard to sleep or sit or do anything in all that plus we have most of the interior living spaces crammed with all the canvas, the sails and all the other crap that was on the deck so the sitting/laying down space is now reduced to next to nothing. we basically stayed like this on the boat on the mooring up in the river for about 36 hrs with pans and bowls to catch the leaks and towels everywhere to sop up the water. which was 35 hrs too long for me. maybe this is why people on boats drink so much. throwing down a 6 pack and whatever else probably makes it more interesting/less irritating and then you just crash til the next morning. i had to bail out yesterday....going stir crazy.. my tolerance level just doesn't go that high or low or whatever it is. i slept in the van last night. not very comfortable but at least it's not a dark leaking cave. well.. at least i have the internet here and i don't have to worry about draining the boat batteries everytime i flush the electric toilet. actually the marina parking lot isn't so bad. the breeze is good and there's a lot of strange people walking around at night to look at. maybe i should get an rv.

things always get better. they say you just have to be patient.

here we are at the private mooring we installed up in a small cove in the river.... waiting for faye to pass over. yesterday we moved the boat from the marina to the mooring. boats get torn up when they're tied up in a marina. here the boat is safer. we decided last night to just stay on the boat since we really have no other place to go and wait it out. the winds are now around 30-40 mph and later on today they should pick up to around 50-60.
i think we should have gotten a hotel room or something. it's hot and stuffy and dark in here, all the hatches are closed except for the companionway and it's raining and blowing. i'm not sure what on earth i'm doing out here. i guess we'll be here til tomorrow sometime just sitting and laying around listening to the wind. maybe i'll make a movie and post it later after i take another fake nap. it's too hot to sleep. we took everything off the deck and stored it down here so we are crawling over solar panels, canvas, poles, and whatever other shit down here is that i keep stumbling over. well... at least i have internet... until the batteries die.

my nervous thoughts of hurricane are starting to fade a little now after checking this morning's update on noaa. last year i didn't worry that much but then again i didn't have everything i own in what could become a giant washing machine if a hurricane passed through.

yesterday morning i made a list of things we would have to do to prepare... just in case.

things like removing everything on the deck and in the cockpit, removing all the sails and storing them, removing the big green canvas dodger and bimini, removing the solar panels, the cowling vents, all the rigging, duct taping all the hatches and ports, storing the dinghies somewhere safe, storing the dinghy motors somewhere

and then there's everything in the cave below... everything inside the boat. i looked around me... all my belongings, everything sitting on shelves and counters and hanging on walls and realized that it would all have to be removed and stored somewhere safe. i pictured it as if it were all flying around inside the boat, everything breaking on top of each other. the thought of doing all this started to make me feel ill so i just left the boat and went fishing.... wishing that while i was gone the whole thing would just go away.

i guess a lot of people are under the impression that living on a big boat like this is somehow really dreamy and relaxing.

oh well.. either way... another day.

yesterday while i was worrying about the tropical storm approaching i decided to photograph my bimini shell collection.

this is my triton. pretty.
this is my young queen conch.

my mature queen conch.


helmut conch, inside.

helmut conch, outside.

various types of milk conch.

oh, and also some nice green and orange kelp. they are tasty, like a salty fruit roll up.

this one looks like something you'd see in a colonoscopy. heh.

road trip... everglades

i took a ride down to florida city with john. florida city is just north of key largo and on the edge of the everglades national park. while he was visiting his customers at the air force base i went to check out the "alligator farm" nearby.

thankfully, it's wasn't really a alligator farm, more like a alligator preserve in the everglades wetlands. back in the day it was a farm where they raised and protected gators when they were on the endangered list. they're obviously not on the list anymore. i learned a lot of interesting things about the alligator. they have survived on earth for over 2 million years and they are only found in 2 parts of the world, southeastern u.s. (mainly florida) and china. they are timid around humans but like to eat fish, small mammals and probably boston terriers and chihuahuas. they can live to be 60, 70 yrs and even sometimes up to 100 yrs. they have 80 teeth that constantly replace themselves if need be. they have a brain the size of your thumb nail. i doubt if they're very bright.

this is feeding time at the edge of their big swampy pond.

several times a day the gator lady feeds them so the visitors can get a better close up look at these creatures.

the gator lady fed them rats and fresh fish and answered our many questions. yum.




these animals are some seriously prehistoric creatures. the younger ones don't seem to mind crawling all over each other and laying on each other in the sun. the older males don't like to be bothered much and are a little more solitary.

next i did something that i've always wanted to do ever since i was little.... take an airboat ride through the everglades. i think i got this idea from some tv show i used to watch about a ranger of the everglades.... "lincoln vale of the everglades"...and he drove around on an airboat protecting all. yes, i loved that show along with, of course, flipper, and sea hunt.

down through the mangroves and cyprus swamps and out to the amazing river of grass we went. it was an exhilarating ride.... skimming across the tops of the shallow waters although a bit noisy from the airboat's engine. we wore noise reduction head phones so it seemed very quiet.

for a far as you can see it's just giant waterways everywhere covered by sawgrass with flocks of ibis and egrets, and hawks and vultures flying overhead.
the river of grass.... now i know what they mean. it's something you can really only see and feel and smell by skimming over these thousands of acres in an airboat. there's nothing else like this anywhere in the world.

for a century people have selfishly and ignorantly diked, drained, and diverted the everglades' water without giving any thought or care to the devastating consequences of their actions. now, after 10 years of scientific planning and political haggling, the largest and most expensive ecological rescue attempt in history is under way to reclaim and restore this amazing 60 mile wide/100 mile long watershed that flows from orlando all the way down to the florida bay in the keys.

very cool. i'm going to do this again... and next time take my own video, heh heh.

serendipidy
the laws of chance, strange as it seems,
take us exactly where we most likely need to be
[david byrne]


















Five Things Happy People Do

Sages going back to Socrates have offered advice on how to be happy, but only now are scientists beginning to address this question with systematic, controlled research. Although many of the new studies reaffirm time-honored wisdom ("Do what you love," "To thine own self be true"), they also add a number of fresh twists and insights. We canvassed the leading experts on what happy people have in common—and why it's worth trying to become one of them:

(1) They find their most golden self. Picture happiness. What do you see? A peaceful soul sitting in a field of daisies appreciating the moment? That kind of passive, pleasure-oriented—hedonic—contentment is definitely a component of overall happiness. But researchers now believe that eudaimonic well-being may be more important.

Cobbled from the Greek eu ("good") and daimon ("spirit" or "deity"), eudaimonia means striving toward excellence based on one's unique talents and potential—Aristotle considered it to be the noblest goal in life. In his time, the Greeks believed that each child was blessed at birth with a personal daimon embodying the highest possible expression of his or her nature. One way they envisioned the daimon was as a golden figurine that would be revealed by cracking away an outer layer of cheap pottery (the person's baser exterior). The effort to know and realize one's most golden self—"personal growth," in today's lingo—is now the central concept of eudaimonia, which has also come to include continually taking on new challenges and fulfilling one's sense of purpose in life.

"Eudaimonic well-being is much more robust and satisfying than hedonic happiness, and it engages different parts of the brain," says Richard J. Davidson, PhD, of the University of Wisconsin-Madison. "The positive emotion accompanying thoughts that are directed toward meaningful goals is one of the most enduring components of well-being." Eudaimonia is also good for the body. Women who scored high on psychological tests for it (they were purposefully engaged in life, pursued self-development) weighed less, slept better, and had fewer stress hormones and markers for heart disease than others—including those reporting hedonic happiness—according to a study led by Carol Ryff, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

(2) They design their lives to bring in joy. It may seem obvious, but "people don't devote enough time to thinking seriously about how they spend their life and how much of it they actually enjoy," says David Schkade, PhD, a psychologist and professor of management at the University of California San Diego. In a recent study, Schkade and colleagues asked more than 900 working women to write down everything they'd done the day before. Afterward, they reviewed their diaries and evaluated how they felt at each point. When the women saw how much time they spent on activities they didn't like, "some people had tears in their eyes," Schkade says. "They didn't realize their happiness was something they could design and have control over."

Analyzing one's life isn't necessarily easy and may require questioning long-held assumptions. A high-powered career might, in fact, turn out to be unfulfilling; a committed relationship once longed for could end up being irritating with all the compromising that comes with having a partner. Dreams can be hard to abandon, even when they've turned sour.

Fortunately, changes don't have to be big ones to tip the joy in your favor. Schkade says that if you transfer even an hour of your day from an activity you hate (commuting, scrubbing the bathroom) to one you like (reading, spending time with friends), you should see a significant improvement in your overall happiness. Taking action is key. Another recent study, at the University of Missouri, compared college students who made intentional changes (joining a club, upgrading their study habits) with others who passively experienced positive turns in their circumstances (receiving a scholarship, being relieved of a bad roommate). All the students were happier in the short term, but only the group who made deliberate changes stayed that way.

(3) They avoid "if only" fantasies. If only I get a better job…find a man…lose the weight…life will be perfect. Happy people don't buy into this kind of thinking.

The latest research shows that we're surprisingly bad at predicting what will make us happy. People also tend to misjudge their contentment when zeroing in on a single aspect of their life—it's called the focusing illusion. In one study, single subjects were asked, "How happy are you with your life in general?" and "How many dates did you have last month?" When the dating question was asked first, their romantic life weighed more heavily into how they rated their overall happiness than when the questions were reversed.

The other argument against "if only" fantasies has to do with "hedonic adaptation"—the brain's natural dimming effect, which guarantees that a new house won't generate the same pleasure a year after its purchase and the thrill of having a boyfriend will ebb as you get used to being part of a couple. Happy people are wise to this, which is why they keep their lives full of novelty, even if it's just trying a new activity (diving, yoga) or putting a new spin on an old favorite (kundalini instead of vinyasa).

(4) They put best friends first. It's no surprise that social engagement is one of the most important contributors to happiness. What's news is that the nature of the relationship counts. Compared with dashing around chatting with acquaintances, you get more joy from spending longer periods of time with a close friend, according to research by Meliksah Demir, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Northern Arizona University. And the best-friend benefit doesn't necessarily come from delving into heavy discussions. One of the most essential pleasures of close friendship, Demir found, is simple companionship, "just hanging out," as he says, hitting the mall or going to the movies together and eating popcorn in the dark.

(5) They allow themselves to be happy. As much as we all think we want it, many of us are convinced, deep down, that it's wrong to be happy (or too happy). Whether the belief comes from religion, culture, or the family you were raised in, it usually leaves you feeling guilty if you're having fun.

"Some people would say you shouldn't strive for personal happiness until you've taken care of everyone in the world who is starving or doesn't have adequate medical care," says Howard Cutler, MD, coauthor with the Dalai Lama of The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World. "The Dalai Lama believes you should pursue both simultaneously. For one thing, there is clear research showing that happy people tend to be more open to helping others. They also make better spouses and parents." And in one famous study, nuns whose autobiographies expressed positive emotions (such as gratitude and optimism) lived seven to 10-and-a-half years longer than other nuns. So, for any die-hard pessimist who still needs persuading, just think of how much more you can help the world if you allow a little happiness into your life.

toby makes me dizzy

i finally got this in the mail the other day. the uscg is really slow about sending people their licences. honesty though, according to people who are forced to spend time with me, i'm not really duly competent by any stretch of the imagination. whatever..........

this little beach shack looks like something i could probably afford.
it's just the right size and has a beautiful ocean view. toby would just love it and i could watch the sunrise every morning on the front porch.
all it needs is a little tlc....and some solar panels to run a few small appliances, maybe a cistern and a small outhouse although i could just bring out jugs of water on my head and crap in the sand dunes like toby does. i might have to get a shotgun though, to keep those pesky crabs from raiding the pantry at night. there's nothing worse than waking up and finding a giant snickering crab rummaging around in your beach shack in the middle of the night. as much as i hate guns chasing those things is just out of the question and plus if you hit them in a leg or something you can save them for a nice crab bisque dinner. another problem might be getting mail. i'm not sure if the mailman delivers to this area.

osprey

it's going to be another 95 degree day today. there's something inherently wrong with doing nothing, wasting time, and then going to bed.
last night i woke up sweating, took a shower in the dark (for the 19th time) and as i tried to get back into bed i hit my head (hard) twice on something or other then i tripped over the power cord to the fan which was shoved in the open overhead hatch causing the fan to come crashing down on top of toby who was sleeping on the floor next to the bed which made her freak out and scream like a banshee. by that time i was sweating again. i almost started crying.
i went out to the galley and got a glass of warm tap water. the water here tastes like crap. then i started.... shaking my head, this isn't any fun.

these guys came to sxsw with duct taped suitcases with pennies to their name and now they're recommended on indie music station/websites across the country. that's pretty cool. i would make mom's piping hot flapjacks for these guys anyday if i could sit and listen to them sing like this under a bridge.

too hot to spit

toby waited patiently while i blew up the abandoned blue floaty that she found on the beach.

first i tried it out

then she came along for a piggy back ride.

finally she had it all to her little self.

who needs the bahamas when you have the entire beaches to yourself and a free blue floaty. a giant manta ray swam right underneath us, surfaced and then disappeared. i'm not really afraid of them but they do present themselves in a rather larger than me intimidating way.

i guess this is the payoff for being on unemployment. ah well....this is my world and yes, escaping reality can actually be a full time job.