http://www.thestationagent.com/story.html
moral to story: sometimes isolation is best shared.
if you can find someone to share your thoughts with and someone who wants to actually listen, not pretend to listen but really listen.. someone who wants to take the time to be a good friend, someone who knows how to be thoughtful and caring and likes interesting conversations... i guess you've probably died and gone to heaven.

it's going to be really really hot today. heat index..110.
i'm bringing my blender to work this morning along with some frozen mangoes, bananas and strawberries so i can make some frosty smoothies for my sweaty boys, andrew and thomas. yes i have boys now. during the week i also have a girl named amanda. they all do whatever i want them to do. sometimes they do so much for me that i don't really have to do anything but tell them what to do. that's funny.
for the past week i've been the only person here in charge of the marina since buzz has been deathly sick with some sort of ugly upper respiratory thing and sam had some kind of invasive nerve operation on his arm so he is out of commission for a while. if i got sick i guess we'd have to close down so i'm making sure i drink lots of water and eat well. yesterday i was out on the docks helping the boys with our daily chores. we were all sweating like pigs and i seriously felt like just jumping off the dock. i think it was about 96 degrees. it's supposed to be even hotter today.
so i think it would be a good idea if we just try to stay inside today as much as we can after we get our marina chores done. andrew said he going to bring in a deck of cards and teach me some card games. that ought to be interesting. i have absolutly no attention span for card playing.
it's 6:30am and i'm off to work. can't find my camera.

speaking of mangooooos. i now have so many mangos that i think i'm going mango crazy. i find at least a dozen on the ground everytime i go out in the front yard which is several times a day. i have to grab them up before the squirrels eat them all. i do leave some for the squirrels though. i take them to work, i freeze them, i eat them and i make mango bread with them. i never thought i'd say that i might be glad when mango season is over.

yesterday was a rather long and sort of quiet day at work. andrew works with me on sunday. he is a 22 yr old college student and our summer part timer who is just a sweet heart. we all love andrew. he's smart, works well with people and gets along with everyone. plus..he's just cute and has a great sense of humor. i will hate to see him leave in august to go back to school.

i have been put in charge of obtaining the official "clean marina" designation from the florida dept of environmental protection. http://www.dep.state.fl.us/cleanmarina/marina/default.htm
i have been given the workbooks and manuals to study which include a lengthy checklist of all the things that we must comply with in order to qualify. yesterday i had time to study and restudy the manuals and workbooks and made my final list of things i have to get done around the marina before i call the local rep from the dep to come for their inspection.
i guess it's really not as difficult as i first thought it would be. it's basically all about having good management practices and promoting responsible boating habits.

there's waste management and recycling.. i've got that all under control. we even have recycling bins with bright green recycle labels on them all along the docks now. that's a first in any marina i've ever seen. everyone knows i'm the recycle nazi at the marina...but seriously 90% of what we mindlessly toss out is very recyclable.
we are now using non toxic biodegradable and petrochemical free cleaning products and we will sell and promote them to the boaters once the ship's store is open.
we utilize a solar hot water system for our laundry and shower facilities to offset our energy usage.
we have to post a sign stating our environmental policies in a highly visable place. i have to have that made.
we have to have emergency plans for all sorts of marina related issues such as fires, fuel spills, accidents, approaching hurricane and so on. all staff has to be aware of what to do in case of these. i have handbooks for the staff and we will have a staff meeting soon to go over it.
there's alot of other stuff, alot to do with safety and hazardous wastes but mostly to do with public awareness and the importance of environmental stewardship.

i like to think of it as promoting a more responsible way of living and encouraging people to seriously think about what they do and how everything they do affects the environment that we all live in. every little bit of effort helps and whatever our guests might learn or be exposed to at the marina is something that they might take home with them and hopefully pass on to others.
i hope to have everything done in the next month or so. once we pass the inspection we can fly a giant green "clean marina" flag, courtesy of the fl. dep, out on our flag pole.

that's all for this morning's yak. time to get ready for work.

it's been a while since i've had any interest in this blog.
may and june have been a blur of work and trying to get the marina open. i've been working 50-60 hours a week and although i finally got a nice raise to compensate me all i've really done is go to work, obsess about everything that needs to be done, come home, eat and flop out on the sofa, falling asleep exhausted by 8:30 or 9. this is a really big challenge for me. at one point 2 weeks ago i almost had a meltdown and had thoughts of quitting. that lasted 2 days. i had worked 6 days in a row, 10 hours a day... coming home to someone who wants to know what's for dinner, forgetting to buy groceries and wondering when i'll have time to do some laundry.
i thought i had to fix everything and make everything right. i got over it though after a couple of days off and some beach mediation.... floating and starring at the clouds. i can't fix everything and if i'm too tired then we'll just have to eat triscuits and peanut butter and wear dirty clothes.

to top it off i forgot my sister's 70th birthday which really disturbs me. you shouldn't spend so much time worrying about everything and everybody else and forget your own family.

things are getting better now. they hired a couple of young guys to help out.. sort of like dock assistants but also to help me out. it's weird having assistants. i'm used to doing things myself.

well i'm off to work this sunday morning. i'm going to try to do better with my obssesions and get back to smiling and being my old silly self.